some good mountain escapes

Park City SilverKing mines, Sundance Lollipops,

Fresh mind clearing air.

Then there are days.

Some days are diamonds.

And some days are in the mine, no diamonds in sight.

I think often of emotion, and my inadequacies in attempting to define it. Poems, quotes, art and song all try to replicate it. We are in constant effort to express ourselves, validate ourselves, and define ourselves. Sometimes, it seems that if we are not continually happy, there is something wrong with us and we should quickly fix it. But quick fixes aren't always lasting fixes. In a way it's like quick energy versus sustainable energy. Simple sugars digest quick, leaving you feeling good, then drop, leaving you craving more. Eating a more balanced way, with protein and vegetables avoids the spikes and drops. It's the sustainable energy that is most important in my life. It's an awful coincidence that when I'm feeling crummy I go for any crappy food that might give me a bit of a boost, knowing full well it's not going to last or do me much good.

Which brings me to my next point. There must be a big importance in knowing the difference between 'feeling good' and real happiness. Every day I do things that help me feel good, because for some reason it just doesn't always come easy for me. So I read the scriptures, exercise and try to eat right because I need the endorphins and nutrition to get me through the day. Life is Good.

But then come the trying days, the hard days, the days where getting out of bed seems as easy as towing an elephant uphill on a huffy bike. Days where I just want to Know and not trust, when I worry about every possible outcome and in the process I become an emotional wreck. When my spiritual fitness is put to the test in some giant endurance race, my opponent of adversity gaining.

I mentioned to Wes one dreary day how much I wished the sun was shining. He replied,

"it is shining, it's just behind some clouds right now."

It reminded me of a quote that goes something like this, "don't mistake temporary cloud covering for permanent darkness." I'm not sure that's exactly how it goes or who said it but it makes me think. It makes me realize that cloudy days (metaphorically speaking now) are plentiful, and they are ok once in a while. So long as I remember the sun is still shining behind them, and they will move, eventually. Real happiness I've learned, is this hope, this knowledge, knowing the sun will never fail to give light. Even though it rains more often than I'd sometimes like, It makes the 'diamond' days in my life much more meaningful.

Off to a good start

The boys are back in school and Morgan is in all day now. It took us both some time to adjust but I think we appreciate the time he's home more.

Carson can't wait to get out the door, and Morgan runs back home 2 or 3 times to give one last hug before he's out of sight. Some kids sure make it easier to be a mom, and some make it a bit harder. The balance of the two makes it all worth it.

We found out that Morgan has been living on one kidney his whole life. The left kidney shows no function and will have to be removed along with the ureter. (The tube connecting to the bladder). He has been fine other than the cloudy urine he has always had which really bothered me until a specialist was finally able to do an ultrasound. If they would have caught it earlier, they still would have had to remove it. I feel grateful he has had no pain, symptoms or infection leading up to this. He will go into surgery (it's laproscopic, thank goodness) in a couple of weeks. I normally would feel very uneasy about this, but I feel the prayers of my family and friends. Instead of anxiety, and frustration I feel peace. I feel the timing was for a reason and that this will make Morgan and our family stronger. He is already talking about wanting to be a doctor some day so he can calm other children going through the same thing. I am thankful for modern medicine and great doctors, and also for intuition, the gospel and good family and friends.

Integrity Renovations: Seven Generations of Builders

Not too long ago, Wes was contemplating the idea of whether or not he should continue in the remodeling business. Although building has always been a passion of his, it didn't always bring consistent work. It wasn't until his uncle Merrill called that he was able to make his decision.

Merrill had written a history of Wes's forefathers in the building industry. He had called to let Wes know that he was the last builder of seven generations and had a hefty responsiblilty to continue the Legacy. It was nice to hear some family encouragement towards Wes's efforts in starting his own business. He created Integrity Renovations from 14 years experience in the field, a business degree from LDSBC, some advice from Business Coaches and friends, and encouragement from his grandfather. It's interesting to see see where Wes gets his love for true craftsmanship and beauty in building.

Here is a brief summary of his info from his website which will be up and running soon.

The founder of Integrity Renovations comes from a long line of pioneer builders. Weston Ridd chose to continue the legacy started by his great great-grandfather, William Ridd, during the 1800s in Devonshire, England. William’s son, William the Second, came to America and settled in the Salt Lake valley. With sawdust in his veins, he continued in the craft taught to him by his father. His talents and skills were put to use in the construction of the Tabernacle, the Salt Lake Temple and many other surrounding buildings. Carpentry skills and honest, hard work continued their legacy of business integrity down through five generations of Ridds, now resting in Wes’s hands. Wes has over 14 years of building and remodeling experience, bringing his commitment to quality and beauty through craftsmanship to every job, no matter how small. From concept to design to installation, Integrity Renovations provides an enduring beauty you’ll be proud to live with.

Morgan's Lego Party 7

A lego party for Morgan.

Fantastic cake by Julie.

Unbreakable, awesome pinata by Abbie.

Yummy roles by mom.

Morgans dream gift (lego robot) from Jenn & mom

Food, Gifts, Fun by Sara and family, Dad, Linz and good friends.

Lego heads made by Camille.

Robot jumper by Wes and I.

Happy Birthday Morgan!

Mt. Ogden 100k

One of my goals for this year was to complete the Ogden 50k. At the time of writing it down, I had never done a mountain bike race. I have always wanted to race bikes, and this year it all worked out. Wes's buddy, Ian, the owner of Bike Fix, had some great jerseys and great deals. He sponsered some races and was very helpful. I also had some help from Erica Tingey and LW coaching, but I can't say that I stuck to the training like I should. I have huge guilt when I'm out doing things without my kids, but also know that it's crucial for my health, mentally and physically. So when Ian offered a free entry to the Ogden 50k, I couldn't turn it down.

The race at Snowbasin went well and it's always nice to get out and ride. There is something so euphoric about winding through tree tunnels in crisp mountain air. It becomes almost meditative, no thinking, just feeling. Then I had the rude interruption of my seat coming loose, I had no tools (ya, bad idea) so I rode above my seat till I could get to a stopping point. Luckily, a spectator had an alan wrench and got me going again. On the downhill I began taking inventory on everything that needed replacing on my bike. I had a good washout on one portion of the trail, need a new front tire, shock, seat, grips.... Ok a new bike would be really nice. Other than that, the race was 2 laps and i had a hard time not repeating, "I gotta do this again?" My body was starting to hurt and the temptation to quit was seeping in. But I had committed to finish the race and quitting wasn't an option. It's kinda like giving birth, you think at the time you'll never do it again. But once it's over and you have this little bundle, you forget the pain and want to do it all over again. The gratification is not as deep when the effort is minimal. And the joy is overwhelming when you've given it everything you got.

Which is why I want to do it again next year. I ended up first in sport category. woohooo!

Not a big fan of this picture, there was like a mile of road at the very end of the race. Of all the beautiful scenery up there I had to get a picture with cones in the background.

Summer fun, 2011

I suppose this to be the very reason to write on a weekly basis. The summer is past and gone and I 'm in a bit of a pickle remembering what we did. Some highlights were taking the kids on hikes, kayaking in the causey resevoir, and going to Bear Lake. We spent days at Gramma Ruths swimming and making cookies. Jenn paid a fun visit from D.C. and we celebrated Morgans seventh birthday, LEGO style. Malia gets into everything. She pours, dumps, paints, draws, spills, crushes, tears, everything in her path. She loves to swing, she cannot go high enough, or fast enough and is always trying to compete with her brothers. Morgan and Carson have now started school and soccer. They both want to play goalie and I have no idea why. But I couldn't resist buying a tiny pair of goalie gloves for them to share. 10 years playing goalie wore me out, but it's sure fun to watch them!